i will see everything from the place you can't see

in a very simple way without any poetic language I am trying to confess few things.

these are the things about which i am unable to talk with my mom with my friends because i cant face their questions after they read this letter.

the things i wrote in this letter i dont want to happen in my life but i dont know why it's seems like this shit gonna be real in my life oneday.

yes,

i want to commit suiside .i dont want to live anymore without the person i love too much.

yes,

it's about a girl who broke up with me four months ago.

from the day she broke up with me , my life turned into the hell. everynight i sleep with her sweet memories and it gives too much pain to my heart . and in morning i wakeup with my wet pilow .

i dont want to live anymore because everyday i feel lke i am the lonliest person in this world full of people.

everyday whenever i miss her i realise that the day when she came back in my life again , will never come in my life . and i have to live alone .

and i am not that much strong to live without her.

and the only way to come out from this weakness is visible to me is suiside.

but  i know that the news of my death will not affect anyone and what wll happen after this ?

my mom my dad and some of my friend will mourning for me and they will also forget everything about me.

everyday i try to stop myself from thinking about suiside and this type thoughts by giving a little hope to my heart. and because of this hope i am still alive.

and every day i succeed in defending myself but for sure one day when i will loose control on my emotions and my fellings will break all the limits and come out from my heart through my eyes, i will fail in defending myself from this thought. and i want to fail .

and the day when i will fail i will able to sleep in peace.but before that i have some confession for those people who means me alot.

My first confession is for my artist friend who never make my sketch after asking for more than 100 times. will you make my sketch in my memory or not?  and dont cheat me because i will see everything from the place where you can never see. so be honest and make a good sketch for me.

2nd one is for you my only child . yes ,you sharma ji .well from now i think you should not need my help any more because maths is not there in next sem for blowing your mind. and as  you always said  before i die i give you my phone and my headphones so i  am not giving you anything except my memories.

next confession is for my fighter friend . you know very well after my death what will you have to do . just find the third person and try to make him feel good and do nothing more than this and don't make any type of trouble for you.

and the last confesson is for the friend who promised me to make everything ok. brother till  my last breathe i was waiting for the news in which i hear that you fixed all things and everything is gonna alright and i will  get her back again in my life for ever. but this time ,you failed  in fixing everything and now it's too late for fixing anything.and bro where is my dslr i wiill never forgive you for this .

hey , are you finding any massage for you? 

you will get nothing here because "ONE PHONE CALL ALWAYS WINS OVER THOUSEND TEXTS".

AND DEAR FRIENDS  I WILL SEE EVERYTHING FROM THE PLACE YOU CAN'T SEE