IS IT DEPRESSION...

I don't know in which situation i am.

No memes make me smile ,no jokes make me laugh

I forgot last time when i laugh.

I unfollowed all the pages which post about love.

Always i put my phone on airplane mode when my friends invite me to join a video call. i start ignoring all my friend's msgs.

I quit talking to my family.

I can't share anything with friends.

Whenever i tried to share something with my bestiee i got pain in my head and tears in my eyes.

I quit talking with people because i feel like they are taunting me and making fun.

I just want to live alone at a place where no one is there to irritate me.

Everything arround me irritates me even my clock's tic tic.

When everyone in lockdown showing there talent or improving their skills i have nothing to do or i should say i dont want to do anything .

When my family are busy in family talk and they enjoy those 

 moments  i used to locked myself in a room and sit in front of fish aquarium and watch them for too long  for no reason.

I have no routine . At which time i should eat at which time i should sleep.

Did i mention sleep??

I don't know last time when i sleep peacefully.

Every night i used to go on roof and sit in corner and start crying for no reason  under the dark sky .and ask god to return the thing which is the only thing i love and i lost it somewhere.

I feel like all the darkness of night has come inside me.

And when sun rises from east birds chirping starts irritating me and the sunrays starts stinging in my eyes.

And they fails to remove darkness inside me which i got from whole night.

I don't know in which situation i am .

Is it depression or is it normal which is same with everyone ??